14 Ways To Commit Slow Suicide

Life’s miracles, deserve miraculous living…

There’s been a lot of talk lately about suicide and depression.  I’ve even heard people struggling to understand why someone would ever even consider committing suicide.

Without being an expert on depression, or on why people make the ultimate choice to end their life, I think it is valuable to consider the ways in which we may already be living, that rob us of the fullness of life.

I look back on my 20 somethings, and marvel at how flippant I was, at times, with my existance.

So many assumptions.  Breathing was an afterthought.  It’s just what I did.

But living…living is far from a trivial subject.  To be alive is both supremely mysterious, and at times, utterly dreadful.

I heard both realities in the cry of my newborn niece and nephew.  I also heard it in the cries of grief that echoed off the mausoleum walls at a recent funeral I attended.

The air hangs heavy when you stand at the entrances and exits of life.  Maybe a bit more thickly at the edge of living, obstructing your vision as you try to peer into the inevitable tomb of unknowns that await.

We are sandwiched in on both sides, by the mystery of our entrance into this world behind us, and a hopefully distant, yet inevitable end.  And in-between, the sands course through the hour-glass whether we like it or not, and no plastic surgery can slow it down.

So it is ironic at times, that there are still these things that I do, that we do, that do not fully respect the infinitely amazing gift of the moments we have in-between these two realities.

A wide spectrum of living occurs among breathing men…

I say all of this acknowledging the moments in life, where suffering paralyzes our fight to go on. Where moments of escape become a logical reprieve from the underbelly of existence.  You will never find me pulling a drink out of the hands of a mourner.  However, if these coping mechanisms become our entire life, then it is our suffering that then defines us.

14 Ways To Disrespect Living

1. Don’t Worry About What You’re Eating.

It’s simply amazing how much faith we exercise every time we eat.  Not knowing what you’re eating is a risky investment that may return its dividends in the form of an early doctor visit.  I’m no shining example of perfect health, BUT I’m ever awakening.

2.  Become Apathetic.

Not caring about your life, or others, leaves you vulnerable.  I’m often remind of a statement from Dr. Cornel West:  “Indifference is the very trait that makes the very angels weep.”

When not caring, meets giving up on yourself and others, empathy dies, and the reasons for living begin to disappear.  And that is something that can have life and death consequences for us all.  Dr. West would be quick to point out that a healthy democracy thrives on a watchful citizenry, connected to a system of checks and balances.

3.  Watch More Dumb Stuff On TV.

I’ve probably lived weeks of my life in-front of the tube.  Probably months.  But then I woke up.  “Dumb” may be a pretty relative word to use, but I think you might know it when you see it.  When your gut tells you you’ve just wasted 2-3 hours of your life, that you wished you could get back…well…listen.

According to the A.C. Nielsen Co., the average American watches more than 4 hours of TV each day (or 28 hours/week, or 2 months of nonstop TV-watching per year). In a 65-year life, that person will have spent 9 years glued to the tube.

4.  Keep A Dead End Job.

Working a job that isn’t connected to your true self is a sure recipe for a slow soul sucking death.  Or at least you will feel like you are.  Holla if you hear me!  I’ve been there, and am still on the journey to life out what I think I am supposed to be doing while alive.

Yes, we can rationalize our misery by pointing to a dismal economy.  But tough times demand greater creativity.  If you’re unsatisfied at work.  Identify your obsession, and start thinking about ways to move closer to work that connects to your core foundation.  Your mental, spiritual, and emotional health will thank you.

5. Chase Success, While Ignoring Greatness.

Building your life’s mantra around chasing success, while ignoring greatness, is something to reconsider.  Even the “American Dream” needs your re-evaluation.  Check out: The Problems of Modern Definitions of Success

6.  Hold On To Unexamined Inherited Religious Beliefs.

We’ll always be someone’s little boy or girl, but even our parents pray that we grow up.  And being mature, suggest a degree of independence in who and what we’re about.  When it pertains to core beliefs about human existence, the worst thing one can do, is to shut of our brains, and simply maintain your traditional religious practices only because that’s all you’ve ever known.  Have you really thought it through?  Or is your spiritual umbilical chord still tied to the beliefs of others?   Dig into, and live the best of what was passed down to you.  But learn to give up the rest for what you discover for yourself.

“In religion and politics, people’s beliefs and convictions are in almost every case gotten at second hand, and without examination, from authorities who have not themselves examined the questions at issue, but have taken them at second hand from other non-examiners, whose opinions about them were not worth a brass farthing.” -Mark Twain

7.  Never Learn To Think For Yourself.

“When you place a high value on truth, you have to think for yourself.” – Cornel West

8.  Dumb Down Your Dreams.

Dumbing down our dreams is so easy to do.  It seems to begin with small compromises that are prompted by societies belief that one ought to be realistic.  If we are not careful, we will reduce our calling to the whims of circumstance.  And maybe at the end of the day we do this because we are subtly uncomfortable with offending those we care about.  Beware of the forces of well meaning people.

9.  Live In The Orgasm.

Orgasms are good.  Arguably divine.  However, living a life that has descended into simply chasing the next climax, is a life that destroys the palette for truth.  Trading in our destiny for moments of orgasmic highs will be looked at later in life with regret.  That’s the thing about feeling high…you eventually drift back to earth. And then we realize the limits of lust, and our innate need for something deeper.  Love.

10.  Seek Addictive Behavior.

I don’t think anyone plans to become addicted to anything.  What begins as a means of escape, sometimes turns into slavery, and total domination.  Tread cautiously.

11.  Waste More Time.

One of my brother’s favorite quotes is, “People are either stretching your vision or shrinking your dream, there is no in-between.”  What at first appears as a harsh statement, on closer inspection, reveals how committed we are to living the best life we can.  It also shines a light on the things, or people, that so easily throw us off course.

How can we respect our life enough to avoid the pointless conversations that leave us feeling drained, and full of negativity?  Or love ourselves enough to only focus on the things that connect with who we feel we are, and where we know we would like to go?  Sometimes the hardest choices we have to make concern the friends and family in our life. Some people you have to love from a distance.

12.  Outsource Your Education.

The Hebrew scriptures say, “my people perish from a lack of knowledge.”  And in so many cases, what we do not know can, and does hurt us.  The journey to a greater understanding of the truth of our human existence cannot be outsourced entirely to the academia, or media.  We gotta turn off the tv every now and again, and do a lil exploration of our own.

13.  Major In Minors.

Many of our illnesses can be traced to stress.  But much of the stressors in modern societies, are endured willingly by lives of fast paced, overcomplicated lifestyles.  Our time, spaces, and minds are cluttered, and this chokes out much needed moments of reflection.  Maybe our hectic schedules, and chronic busyness are just the drug that keeps us from dealing with aspects of our existance.  Of squarely confronting who we are, and some of the deeper aspects to living a truer life.

Choosing to value simplicity, is a choice that ushers in our greater potential for keeping the main thing, the main thing.

14.  Act Like You Will Not Die.

“America is a death-dodging, death-ducking, death-denying civilization.” – Dr. Cornel West(Hope On A Tight Rope)

We live in plastic bubbles of denial, that also deny us the confrontation with our mortality that motivates a much needed sense of urgency in life.  If you think you have all the time in the world, you tend to take life for granted.  We should be spanked for that sort of disrespect, don’t you think?

I am always reminded to push for a fuller life, when I ask myself this question:

Am I simply waiting to die?


  • Carla says:

    I totally thought about this yesterday… I saw a rather “mature” lady in a wheelchair, sitting outside moffitt, smoking!!! And I thought, “Maaaan the things people will do for an addiction. Wouldn't she quit once she knew it was killing her?”

    Then I thought, if I knew (which I do) that my three trips to the kitchen for Oreos was killing me, would I stop?
    If I knew (which I do) that my go-to-bed-late-over-sleep-unrested habits were killing me, would I stop?
    If I knew (which I do) that my lack of physical activity and motivation for it was killing me, would I stop?
    If I knew (which I do) that continuing to do mind-numbingly (sp?) boring work was killing me, would I stop?

    I have GOT to start STOPPING!

  • veron says:

    Hi Carla,
    I think you just described that in-between state its so easy to get stuck in sometimes. CHOOSING our path is half the battle. The rest is a mixture of having accountability, and the right associations. BUT I'm still experimenting with the formula for CHANGE myself! So continue to share your epiphanies ok?

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  • John Barrett says:

    The message I am getting is you are blaming people like myself for depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts. I don’t know if you are christian or of some other religion, or just spiritual in other ways or are coming from a scientific point of view but you do not inspire me, you just made me angry.

    I know a poor diet is bad for me, I don’t smoke, take drugs or get drunk anymore (I hardly touch alcohol). I was always anxious since I was young leading to a mini breakdown at 15 over Christianity, the change of life, being adopted and my father running out on me and my family. I carried anxiety all through my life then when my best friend who was a brother to me killed himself because of his depression I fell in to depression compounded by my mothers slow descent into alzheimers and other poor health that killed her as I watched on and tried to take care of her.

    Yeh I eat badly and I eat for comfort for I find no comfort in the world I live in, the world that man created of oppression, war. abuse and denial. This is a world where our very leaders are corrupt, arrogant, ignorant, abusive, guilty of criminal negligence and manslaughter and this is the United Kingdom I’m thinking about in particular as I write this.

    Im treated for various illesses because I am obese and have sleep apnea, depression, anxiety, diabetes. I don’t change because I have these, I am lonely and in my better days I want to live but I can’t get excited about it. Thanks for blaming me and I believe shortly after I write this it will either not be allowed to be published or it will get deleted as yuo wont want your nice sparkling message of how we are killing ourselves with food, drink and apathy to be stained by the idea of genetic and environmental conditions having a part to play in it all.

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  • Ana Yanti says:

    Is not really good enough to kill in slowly motion

    I’m fucked up desperate mom with two kids

    I don’t know how to end up my life

    If I had a choice in instantly to take my kids with me

    I’m not crazy

    But I had enough

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  • Anne says:

    About me ( not necessarily in order. Now had a drink)
    I had breasts from the age of 10. By the age of 12 my cup size was a c cup
    A few years later t
    I was raped and got pregnant I had to have an abortion (at the time I couldn’t cope with the rape and what that meant. Was given no advice or an appointment for a councillor, was told it was for the best.

    I’m overweight, hate the size I am (I’ve lost 2st but still overweight) and feel ugly, embarrassed, and self conscious of other people’s opinions of my size.

    I’ve no self respect.My own mother committed suicide at my front door in the middle of the night . She couldn’t even phone me to let me know how depressed she was. ( What kind of daughter does that make me)
    I had a mental breakdown after finding my mother and still feel so guilty.
    All of my so called friends deserted me because I spent time in a physiatric ward in hospital.
    My partner decided to leave me when he found out I was pregnant. Then moved to America, then married a women with 5 children to 4 different fathers the week my son was born.
    When my son was 7 he had to see a councillor about stomach migraines. I was told he was fine but could I come back and see them again. I was told I had SAD

    My son is now 21 and living with his girlfriend ( who I really like. She brings out the best in him)

    I am no longer needed.

    I have COPD. I only have <50% if my lungs left (yes I still smoke).

    I don't want my son to know I don't want to live a solitary life. I don't want to go on without someone in my life. But since I got raped I've never been able to have a new relationship with anyone new since then ( luckily I had had a relationship with his dad before the rape and at that time he was able to comfort me ( hence my son)

  • Jensheen says:

    I am back …. To kill me

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  • Stephanie says:

    I am already dead on the inside. Feel as if I am living in a bubble observing the world and really not being a part of it. Survived cancer only to lose my job. Had to break down and file for disability, they took it away. Now the government has said that I committed fraud, as if I chose to have cancer and the medical problems that I suffered from numerous surgeries. Feel like a loser, no job, no friends and life has been over since I lost my job of 12 years due to having to go to the doctor too much, poor performance they said and I worked in healthcare ha..ha. and they are supposed to be the ones that care. Tried to jump off a bridge overpass the day I lost my job, cop stopped me and ended up in the psych ward. Life has been a downward spiral ever since. Every time I try to take steps to get bigger, a flight of stairs gets pulled out from under me. Just want it all to be over.

  • Gregory Krabbe says:

    Interesting perspective s, at 55years old I didn’t expect to be responding to an analysis of, perpetuity based on ones, “desire,” to live.

    Always thought THAT would come naturally. It no longer does. People, don’t, “love,” anymore. Lol
    They, “own.”

    Young folks don’t care about old folks anymore, were just in the way.

    Technology was considered advancement, while wisdom was now seen as a product of irrelevant people that took up too much space for too long.

    When I was young, children were taught, their place. Now…. Elderly folks are told, “their place.”
    Still people ask, why is their so much evidence of evil in the world? Lol

    Kinda obvious…. Is it not?

    When will humanity, posses the “knowledge,” and HUMILITY to take the new technology,…
    But compare and contrast it against the wisdom of TIMING sage, and age old MORALS. ??

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  • Johnny O Bizbo says:


  • Johnny O Bizbo says:


  • Johnny O Bizbo says:

    Gregory Krabbe , come get me already!! Hang me with NOOOSE!!! DON’T FAIL ME, CACK BONE!!

  • sehen says:

    Ich schlich hinterher und tatsächlich stand er gleich nach der Biegung zwischen zwei Büschen.

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