I’ll be the first to admit that I was pretty ignorant on feminist ideals. Was it about hating men, burning bras, or a movement to correct age-old inequalities in a male dominated society? I vaguely remember taking a class in college called Women and Gender..but honestly that would really have to be verified.
But I’m catching up on some learning.
Recently…I’ve begun to get to know Ronna Detrick. She is a writer, speaker, certified spiritual director, and fellow blogger who writes a blog called Renegade Conversation, about Faith, The Feminine, and Telling The Truth. We have a lot of overlapping interest, but as a woman, with a particular focus on how the feminine relates to re-imagining aspects of faith, and becoming more authentic, its been great to hear her perspective on what the truth journey can be like.
Like myself, she believes in creating honest spaces of conversation, she has experienced the value of writing as a way to explore truth, and she values dialogue where dogma disappoints. She also seeks to grow in, and popularize the truth exploring lifestyle, which in many ways makes us kindred spirits. It’s been great getting to know her.
“We have to have spaces, whether those are in therapy, relationships, journaling, anywhere, where we don’t edit, and we don’t censor, because women do it all the time.” – Ronna Detrick(From interview)
Ronna describes how she was before she began the lifelong shift from societies expectations to what, in a recent interview, was referred to as the Renegade Spirit:
“I lived much of my life in conventional, expected ways. I figured out what was required of me in my roles, and relationships and then worked diligently and tirelessly and too often at great cost, to keep everything in tact, and never rock the boat. I fell into line and complied, living only halfway. Halfway wasn’t good enough, and it still isn’t.”
After listening to a podcast where she was recently interviewed, it got me thinking.
Have you, male or female, been able to relate to her statement at some point in your life?
- What are these expected ways of living, that show up in society, religion, and life in general, that pressure us all, but quite possibly women in particular, to conform?
- What are these ideas that keep you from expressing the truth about who you really are, and what you truly want personally, and in your career?
- Does the patriarchal model in much of religion acutely suppress a unique, and noteworthy feminine perspective? And does this also suppress the critical thinking and reflective nature in women that exploring truth for oneself requires?
Even as a guy, there were many other points that were brought up in this interview that I found pretty interesting, and would like to share with you. The interview was for men and women, but it really focused on women. What can I say…It was like sneaking a peek at a Cosmo Magazine…without the guilt. Plus, last I checked, slightly more women than men read this blog, so I thought this might be relevant to you as well.
Here’s a great excerpt from the interview:
“I still hear this voice that is so contemptuous, that is so violent towards myself. But now I hear it, and take my finger and flick it away…. But we learn that… The hyper critical voices are the ones that tell us we need to conform, that we need to make other people happy…That…it doesn’t matter if you’re miserable in this particular situation, your job, your relationship, your body image, whatever…Suck it up and deal with it…
The violent behavior has been rewarded culturally. So..we act violently toward ourselves, which makes us good…It makes us compliant, it makes us kind, and generous…All of which are good. Kind and generous are obviously good qualities…BUT when it’s a facade, we are affirmed. And when we begin to say you know what…I don’t want to do that…NO…thats not authentic for me, no here’s how I really feel…Culturally we are then seen as bitchy, or too aggressive…And certainly in the context of many religious traditions, that does not wash. In the context of many marriages that does not wash…work environments..that does not wash…This tension just ramps higher and higher and higher… It’s like negative reinforcement…We are rewarded for bad behavior. It’s totally counterintuitive to what we most want…It’s no wonder we feel crazy… sometimes.” – Ronna Detrick
If you are now feeling(particular for the ladies):
• like you’re being inauthentic and ‘faking it’
• like you’re powerless, invisible, or feeling ‘silenced’
• ‘stuck’ or like you’re going around in ‘not so great’ circles
• like you’re stuck in a cycle of lack and discontent
And you’d rather be:
• feeling authentic and confident…
• experiencing positive, pleasant interactions & communications
• bringing an exciting, authentic vision to life
• enjoying your work, and
• experiencing true prosperity…
Check out the interview here:
Oh, and just for kicks…disregard any of the above “dribble”, if this video below ends the way you prefer ;-)