with the sun in their face, and grins in their eyes…
And we watch below the alter
Into the grassy plateau of souls….whispering of yesteryear’s
they march towards the point….
men from the east to the men of the west
The sky looks down and rumbles in knowing….and the earth trembles beneath the iron hoofs, and boots of steel
across the red river, and the skulls and ravens…they go…to the field of swords…
Look to your hips soldier…
take from your holster the venom from tongue….
for across the field…table…or room…comes your brother, sister, mother and friend…
feat photo by Rita Crane
Continue reading...1 February 2010
She sits nightly on her stoop
with her book and the orange juice colored vodka mix…always more vodka than juice…
Amidst the silence of the night and below the mysteries of a trillion stars that inspire the guttural cry of a thousand questions…heavy and swollen…
Jade, her jet black cat, saunters through the cracked front door. He crouches between the crook made between her reading hand poised just below her downcast gaze.
Jade knows….
and rubs the back of his head against her right side. I imagine both to comfort himself, and to speak the language that only grief can hear.
The book is rich with cliches. It speaks of other worlds, away from this one. Polite answers lay between the pages, with raw truth, laid next to lies, the clean next to the mess of inconsistency and randomness. Random acts of kindness, and memories of a dark yesterday. Of love given and unreturned. Of sour, scorching regret. Of last words never spoken. Of phone calls never made…
She slams the book down, looking away, and nervously flicks a lighter to the newton cigarette now dangling between her lips. Sickened at the thoughts invading her mind. Reminding her away from this place…of escape.
Her stoop, with her book.
The ice gently melting away into transparent floating icebergs. Rocking and rattling within the tall crystal walls of her souvenir beer mug, with the words:
Continue reading...A Thousand Miles In The Sky
25 January 2010
I began writing this fictional story a couple years ago, and then tossed it aside. Today, I thought, hmmm…maybe I’ll see if I couldn’t get some help finishing it. If you’re game, it’s now going to be a Chain Story. However, I am open to awarding a prize to the most creative story teller!
Here are the simple rules:
The head lights shimmered like diamonds on that foggy Saturday night. The misty air threatened to engulf even the last signs of the oncoming traffic that was my only hope for meandering down the narrow two lane, historic road they call Route 66.
There was nothing highway about this now historic country road that connected Springfield, Missouri, and Tulsa. And when you see your life flash before your eyes every time a semi truck races inches past you, you know you’re not on a real highway.
And if to make matters worse, it had began to drizzle. I could see in the distant night sky, the foreboding flicker of lightening. Fighting back every pessimistic premonition, I turned on the windshield wipers and glanced down at my watch. “Crap,” I muttered underneath my breath, quickly realizing that I had forgotten to change the eroding rubber windshield wiper blades. The quiet hum of the air condition was now accompanied by the sounds of nails on a chalkboard, as the metal arms scrapped back and forth over the windshield surface of my 1995 Jeep Wrangler. They provided little relief from what was now beginning to become a torrential downpour.
She would have to wait, I thought to myself, as I slowed to a crawl and parked along the shoulder of the road. Even though I risked missing the opening scene of the play, and hearing her never live it down, I just had to wait this thing out. Besides, I had seen “The King and I” as a child, and I wouldn’t be heart broken if I missed it tonight.
I now couldn’t see a thing. I sat there with the car running, but the head lights off, almost feeling relieved that I actually didn’t have to come up with an excuse this time for being late, but also still wishing I had left work a bit earlier like I promised her I would. Mother nature was my perfect alibi. If she didn’t believe this one, I’d have verifiable proof she truly was crazy. But I was equally as crazily in love…I couldn’t help it. And its not that I was always lying to her, it was actually the opposite. I sometimes was just too honest. Honest about how I felt about her religion, about wanting to quit my job, and about having kids. This is the stuff I don’t remember them ever mentioning in marriage counseling. 7 years together and you’d think we would know each other by now, but we were learning that people grow, and knowing takes work.
9:33pm.
If I planned on getting any of this I would have to leave now. The rain was still pouring down, but at least the white foamy fog now gave way to the clarity of a pitch black night. I fumbled to turn the keys again in the ignition, wondering to myself why I bothered to turn it off. With the roar of the engine, I quickly flicked the switch to turn on the headlights. The light erupted into the darkness revealing the road ahead.
And that’s when I saw her…
21 January 2010
I told myself, like you told yourself. This wouldn’t happen again. Driving away into the night, we muttered the silent promises people do when they’ve reached the end of themselves. When they have discovered that they really are not just one person. That we all have to fight a war between the best of ourselves, and the part of us that continues to do us in.
I clicked the radio on, and then quickly turned it off. I didn’t need another memory to haunt me later. The last time I had driven away from regret I made the mistake of listening to some jazz station. Now every time I hear smooth jazz, well, she comes to mind. And not just her, but the lack of control. I return to the scene of the crime against myself, in my mind, again.
Thinking you can wash your hands so quickly of memories stain, is one of the biggest lies told. They don’t live like people do. They stick to your skin, and smell up your clothes. And hour-long showers don’t wash them away.
So it’s 3:23am, and although she wanted me to stay the night, I couldn’t sleep there. I couldn’t awaken to the reality.
to the shower that awaits,
the bed that is mine,
and the sunrise,
that I hope will erase the guilt and ….
Her name is addiction. If you have not met, I hope never to introduce you. But maybe you already have met. She is the one that hides behind your predominant self. The one that allows you to hold its reality at arms length. To just barely deny its existence, although, like a world wind, it crashes into your life, and whirls you away ever so often.
She is your guilty pleasure. Your mess of pottage. The last puff of smoke before the lights go out. She is you…doing the thing you said you would never do….again.
She’ll make you trade Life’s love for lust…or passing up real food for a pacifier..casting your eyes from a horizons vision, to the short lived bliss of today. She is your kindest pimp, and sometimes all you have. She may even love you. Smiling, while your heart grows cold, and numb to the seesaw of broken promises, while she whispers into the night that she is doubtful of tomorrows hope.
In other ways, he is the 800 pound gorilla in the room. Territorially invading your space, staring at you with those piercing and dominating eyes. Grunting you into submission. Denying the option to be ignored, but daring you to confront its undeniable presence. And when polite company come over, he/she transforms into that little red lizard, and scurries away, deep inside dusty corners of abandoned, cobweb invested attics, or uncleaned verandas.
To the world, you are a self respecting citizen of civility. In control, and put together. At church you leave him at home, knowing good and well that here, you do not speak of such things. Here you sing loudly, smile widely, and keep you mouth shut.
But these are things that must be spoken of. For they are true. And a lie lived in secret will kill you.
Continue reading...19 January 2010
Here’s a list of 10 Books that have shaped my thinking. This list, by no means, is my top 10, nor is it necessarily listed in order of importance(Except for the 1st one). The only real danger here is in placing yourself between the white and black pages of ideas that force one to confront the deeper things in life. Somethings we will agree with, some we will not. But we will be exploring, thinking, and maybe leave the better for it. And for some that is a very dangerous.
Please add to this list, so that others, including myself can benefit from the books that have radically changed your life, or simply had a significant impact on the way you think, view, or understand life.
Quite arguably the most read, treasured, controversial, and even misunderstood book of all times is the Bible. It’s significance embraces both the Jewish and Christian Faith. It has been the cause of much debate, but has also motivated martyrs to breathe their last breath in defense of what its teachings had done inside their lives, and motivated others to be the persecutors of those same martyrs. It appears to me, that any book with as much impact on humanity as the Bible has had, must be read from cover to cover. Something I’m still working on.

When I read this book for the first time, I had a ton of questions(And would you know, I still have that problem). This book is an apology of the Christian faith, and aims to break down the essential attributes of the Christian faith in such a way that both sides of the believing aisle can benefit. Upon graduating from college, I began to mature in my desire to seriously examine life more closely. Considering that I was raised in a Christian home, I began to carefully examine many assumptions I had regarding the Christian faith, God, and the meaning of life in general. Mere Christianity, written by C.S. Lewis, was a foundational, exhaustive, look at the core of Christianity. And what I appreciated, is how it took a very reasoned, non denominational approach in communicating the topic a very complex topic. Lewis takes you inside a journey of contemplating the core of how Christianity explains human existence, and how one could arrive at such conclusions. Whether you are an atheist, agnostic, or a devout believer in something larger than yourself, this book is worth reading.

If you follow me on Twitter, or Facebook, or even here, you have heard me mention Donald Miller book Blue Like Jazz, or one of the few books Mr. Miller has released over the last decade. I remember stumbling into this book at the book store, and after reading the back excerpt, thinking to myself, that it was placed on that shelf for me to read, at that time, on that day. Well, you get the point. The tag, “non-religious thoughts on Christian Spirituality,” immediately grabbed my attention. As someone who had serious questions about aspects of my Christian religious experience, it was refreshing to know, that there were people who were continuing to explore, inquire, and who felt it necessary to separate the religious constraints of their reality, from their desire to encounter a real experience with a God who was real.
Ok, this is a history book, and most people I know, don’t go around leisurely reading a history book, not unless there’s a grade attached to it. And I can’t say I’m significantly different. However, upon, first listening to an audio version of some of the chapters of this book, I decided it was worth a read. The author, Howard Zinn, American historian and Political scientist, attempts to give you a peek into American history through the eyes of the often marginalized voices in times past. The people who you rarely hear from if the recording of past stories and events have usually been told by those in power. It is not without its share of criticism. Some feel that his approach of telling the stories of marginalized groups in America is a pessimistic approach. I figure someone’s pessimism is another mans truth. Check it out for yourself.
If you have never asked or sought to understand where all of your religious rituals, artifacts come from, this may be a book you may have to digest with a bottle of aspirin. There will be moments, where you will put it down, and murmur unintelligibly to yourself. Pagan Christianity, written by Frank Viola, and George Barna(of The Barna Group), aim to inspire you to explore the roots of your church practices. In the end they purport that their goal isn’t to distort the message of Jesus, but to call into question, the assumptions that many Christians may have, as to the origins of their religious and church practices. It’s full of footnotes, so you can verify the historical claims of pagan tampering they make revealed in many of todays traditional church practices, structure, and down to the physical architecture and preacher robes.

“Completely unplug and reset”, that’s what Tim Ferriss, the author of The 4- Hour Workweek states you will have to do if you plan on working a four hour work week, escaping the 9-5, living anywhere and changing your financial situation for the better. The book is divided into 4 sections. Definition, Elimination, Automation, and Liberation. Definition deals with becoming very clear as to the type of life you want. What do you want to do from the minute you wake up, to the moment you go to bed each day, and to consider how much that would cost. You then arrive at the elimination state, here is where you ruthlessly eliminate anything that stands in the way of you living that life. And whatever time consuming things are left, you can then explore automation. He covers the systems one can use to automate, or delegate whats left. And finally liberation. Here is where you need to decide, now that you’ve freed up much of your time, and have the mobility to travel, etc, what do you plan on doing with this time? Tim Ferris recently released an updated edition of this book, and I would recommend checking it out.
The stories that this emergent thought leader weaves throughout this small book, pack a force that will make your head spin, but not without first arresting your heart and ultimately challenging your soul. Peter Rollins, the Irish philosopher and post modernist theologian, displays why the parable has the power to both emotionally and intellectually challenge in ways that preserve the listeners dignity, but contain the ability to challenge and transform in ways that many other forms of writing do not. Rollins frank, and bold critique of Christianity is accompanied with a clear desire to distinguish any negative observations of Christianity from the message of Jesus Christ.
Rolf Potts, clearly set out to debunk many of the myths people have about traveling the world. But his book goes further than just superficially discuss the subject of traveling. He also aims, and does so very well in my opinion, to define the philosophy of “Vagabonding“, which he describes as “taking time off from your normal life — from six weeks, to four months, to two years — to discover and experience the world on your own terms.“ Potts is clear in making the case that vagabonding is not a trend, but more an uncommon way of looking at life. He goes on to explain that it’s “about using the prosperity and possibility of the information age to increase your personal options instead of your personal possessions. Vagabonding is about looking for adventure in normal life, and normal life within adventure. Vagabonding is an attitude — a friendly interest in people, places, and things that makes a person an explorer in the truest, most vivid sense of the word.“ To me, this healthy appetite of finding out for yourself what the world is all about, and has to offer, personifies the spirit of what one’s quest for the truth can be as well.

In a world where the halls of history are lined with the memories of war, poverty, and injustice, one has to decide how to respond to the almost hopelessness of mankind’s predicament. Is it possible for Billions of people to continually learn from the mistake of others, and choose not to perpetuate the evils that our fathers and mothers partook in. According to Martin Luther King Jr.’s wife, Coretta Scott King, this is the book that best explains the central element of Kings philosophy of nonviolence. “His belief in a divine, loving presence that binds all life. This belief was the force behind his quest to eliminate social evil…by reaching into and beyond ourselves and tapping the transcendent moral ethic of love, truth, and the courage to do what is right.“ This book has had a huge impact on me.

The world is messed up, and Brian McLaren, author of Everything Must Change, offers some clear cut solutions to how this must begin to be addressed. In essence he shows that mankind in many ways is suicidal, and as a result we now have a crisis in prosperity, equity, security and spirituality. He then asks a dangerous question. “What would happen if we applied the message of Jesus—the good news of the kingdom of God—to the world’s greatest problems?“ For the Abrahamic faiths, and particularly Christians, this is more and more and unavoidable question.
Despite my claim of danger, and my acknowledged open-mindedness, most of these books still resonated with things I was fairly comfortable with at the time of reading them. I hope to share a few more books in an upcoming post, that push and challenge me even further. I’ll also look at some fiction books as well.
So I’m curious…What are some books that have seriously had an effect on your life? List 10 books if possible, and as people add titles, feel free to share the list with people you know. I know I’m always on the lookout for new books that have had challenged my beliefs, assumptions, and that have had a major impact on someone’s life. With the amount of books begging to be read, its nice to cut through some of the clutter, and hear what’s really done “it” for others.
Continue reading...4 December 2009
These are 8 blogs that reveal a flair for the creative and unconventional ways of living your life. Each, in varying respects, have helped me in my search for greater meaning in life and even in my spiritual development. Some have inspired a more intentional approach to life, while others have also gone deeper, by sharing and inspiring a spirit to explore unconventional ways of looking at life, work, and the spiritual journey.
Tag line: Adventures in Lifestyle Design, Entrepreneurship & Location Independence
What makes this website interesting: I’ve had the opportunity to begin to get to know this guy, through his very popular blog, and the magical world of twitter. Cody seems to be someone who is a living testimony to living intentionally. Originally from California, he decided to move to Thailand, and design his life in such away that affords him the ability to operate his online business from wherever he is.
Twitter: @codymckibb
Tag line: Best-Selling Author of Books, and Stuff
What makes this website interesting: Don is a writer, so he’s probably not best known for his blog. He’s written a few books, his most noted being Blue Like Jazz, which became a New York Times Bestseller. His latest book, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, a book about his journey editing his life, is poised to do the same thing. Visit his site for a taste of his various “non-religious thoughts, on Christian spirituality”. You’ll be sure to laugh a few times while your there. Don’s a funny guy, but always thought-provoking.
Twitter: @donmilleris
Tag line: Unconventional Strategies for Life, Work, and Travel
What makes this website interesting: Chris is a writer, traveler, and entrepreneur with the goal of visiting every country in the world while connecting with other world-changers. Along the way he has been sharing his journey with the world, and helping people live unconventional lives, while changing the world. This mix of social entrepreneur, world traveler, and humanitarian is very appealing to a lot of folks, including myself. Check out his site, he has quite a few download available e-books, that will give you a peak into his philosophy on life.
Twitter: @chrisguillebeau
Tag line: Simple Productivity
What makes this website interesting: Leo Babauta a living example of someone who has stripped down all irrelevant aspects of a once chaotic life, and gives you the fundamentals on what it takes to live a simple life. Even his blogs design reflects his commitment to a minimalist lifestyle. And when you read his stuff(books, and blogs), his message of simplifying your life by clearing the clutter, increasing productivity and finding happiness as a result, comes shining through.
Twitter: @LeoBabauta
Tag Line: Flirting with, and finding faith.
What makes this website interesting: She is currently slated to release her upcoming book: Flirting with Faith: My Journey from Atheism to Agnosticism to a Devoted Life, and I look forward to it. For now, you can find her writing at the ever-growing community of spiritual sojourners: Beliefnet. What I value from Joan, is her intentional positioning, or “flirting with faith” as she calls it. Her example inspires the spirit of persistent inquiry in your own life and spiritual journey.
Twitter: @joanpball
Tag Line: none
What makes this website interesting: Peter Rollins is writer, lecturer, storyteller and public speaker. He has a very provocative, and philosophically structured, out of the box way at approaching theology, and faith. I’ve valued how he challenges many traditionally held Christian paradigms, allowing the Christian to evaluate if they have been transformed and are living a revolution, or a status quo, watered down set of rituals. However, highbrow one may think his style is, he also manages to use storytelling, parables, theology, and poetry in order to explore the life of faith in accessible ways. He is also the founder of ikon, “a faith group that has gained an international reputation for blending live music, visual imagery, soundscapes, theatre, ritual and reflection to create what they call ‘transformance art’.” This unconventional approach to faith and even church, provokes new ideas, and ways of imagining religious life, and Christian spirituality. Judge for yourself.
Twitter: @peterrollins
Tag Line: Prayer: Not an activity, but what we may become
Do you pray? Like as in clasp your hands and mutter something you hope goes past the ceiling? Or is your entire existence lived in such a way, that your life permeates the atmosphere, and all around you, like the sweet scent of burning incense. Your thoughts, words, and actions, evoking a constant stream of letters to and from the heart of God. This concept of “living as prayer”, was one I hadn’t thought of much, until I bumped into Lisa’s blog. In fact the entire subject of prayer, is one that I’ve had mixed feelings on for sometime. As a result of reading her work, I can say, I have grown, and have been challenged to reconsider some ideas on the subject of prayer.
Twitter: @lisacolondelay
Tag Line: Covering God, Life, and Culture
Now Relevant Magazine isn’t a blog. Then again, what is the strict definition of a blog. The website is more a magazine, online community, blog network, and much more. I discovered them a few years ago, and they represent a progressive Christian voice, so desperately needed in a conversation, that at times, seems to be monopolized by a much more conservative, fundamentalist, and a politically motivated majority. Relevant magazine gives voice and speaks to a 20 something generation of people who are genuinely interested in God, above tradition, religion, or any of those other shenanigans.
Twitter: @RELEVANTMag
Continue reading...25 October 2009
Let’s be honest, how inspiring or interesting would it be? Would you or the rest of us, fall asleep during the story called your life? Do you find yourself getting into a boring cycle, of seemingly meaningless activities, like waking up on Monday morning, with Friday on their mind? These are some of the unsettling thoughts and questions I was inspired to confront, while reading Donald Miller’s new book, A Thousand Miles, in a Million Years.
It begins with him being approached by two screenwriters, who pitch him on the idea of making a movie based on his New York Times bestseller, Blue Like Jazz. Donald is hesitant at first, because he can’t really imagine watching his collection of memoir styled essays on the big screen. And this hesitation is somewhat confirmed while trying to collaboratively come up with a watchable story. What he discovers is that his real life is, well, kind of boring, and that the editing process of creating a watchable movie, can be used in actually creating a better, and more meaningful story in his real life.
Here’s part of the blurb from the back cover:
Continue reading...A Million Miles in a Thousand Years chronicles Miller’s rare opportunity to edit his life into a great story, to reinvent himself so nobody shrugs their shoulders when the credits roll. Through heart-wrenching honesty and hilarious self-inspection, Donald Miller takes readers through the life that emerges when it turns from boring reality into a meaningful narrative.
Miller goes from sleeping all day to riding his bike across America, from living in romantic daydreams to fearful encounters with true love, from wasting his money to founding a nonprofit with a passionate cause. (more…)
23 October 2009
First Rob Bell wrote Velvet Elvis, Sex God, and Jesus Wants to Save Christians. I’d read two out of these three books, and watched a few of his short videos online. All in all, I’m a fan. He challenges Christians to reevaluate living by a check list religion, and communicates some pretty provocative ideas, while doing so responsibly. Anyway, I heard he was coming to town, so I went to hear him at the Tampa Bay Performing Arts Center a couple weeks ago. He was making his rounds in Florida, on his world wide tour for the release of his new book: Drop Like Stars. He was there to discuss what some may feel is an inconvenient subject, but nonetheless, very relevant. (more…)
Continue reading...5 October 2009

Handstand
My sister (Karlene Graham) and I recently got to see MuteMath in concert. She ended up writing a review of her experience, seeing them live for the first time.
If I was unsure of who my favorite band was, this concert made up my mind. On Thursday, September 24th, MuteMath headlined a show. They’re a band that seems comfortable evading strict classification, or being confined within a specific genre.
“Their music consists of many elements and has been described as everything from electro-alternative-rock to psychedelic-gospel to experimental-pop”.
I’ve always been a fan of the group, enjoying their musical fusions, but never had the opportunity to see them perform live. So imagine my excitement to learn that they would be performing at Sonar, in downtown Baltimore. We arrived slightly early to meet the line wrapped around the building. As Tall as Lions, a band that was new to me, opened the show and I was pleasantly surprised. They were a nice blend of so many of the things I love. Just as their songs carried bass-centric lines, their bassist, Julio stole the audiences attention. Even as the bass rattled my heart, the crooning lead singer, paired with the (more…)
Continue reading...
10 March 2010
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