I laughed out loud when my sister told me her experience walking up for an altar call at a church she was visiting years ago, only to discover that everyone in the line ended up on the floor.

Yes..slain in the Spirit.

I’m not talking about what you looked like after the all-you-can-eat buffet you hit up last. I’m talking about what many believe to be a personal encounter with the Holy Spirit, often facilitated by the laying on of hands, and resulting with someone laid out on the floor mimicking a snow angel. Ok…I kid.

No disrespect to ANYONE’S beliefs here!

It’s just that when she demonstrated to me how she went along with it and fell down after the minister shoved her in the forehead…well…I just lost it. And she genuinely was just trying to not make a scene.

We both grew up in a much more conservative Christian expression, where getting slain in the Spirit looked more like people clapping too loudly after a rousing rendition of Amazing Grace. So I knew it must have been a strange experience for her.

Historically, I’ve never been “slain” in this way.  In my past, I’ve felt emotionally overwhelmed with the “sinfulness of my ways” while quietly considering how many re-baptisms it would take to really do the trick.  When I got a bit older I’d maybe feel…an ephiphanous enlightenment at the divine intelligence of unconditional love.  But all usually while calmly sitting down.

Not sure if I just never “had the holy spirit” as some might claim, or maybe I just didn’t know how to do it right. Looking back, it just was not in my religious DNA. You would never catch me doing a“holy c-walk” in the sanctuary…I mean…outside of church I’ve been extremely excited after an ignorant amount of tequila, but that’s probably the closest I’ve ever come to doing anything like this:

My sisters story still has me smiling as I recall it…

And I’m curious…What would you do if you were her? And you were, as she described it, stuck in line, expecting a simple prayer, and feeling very uncomfortable at the prospect of having to figure out how you were going to fall appropriately?

And if you can’t relate directly to this story…is there something you’re used to doing (religiously or otherwise), that you can imagine comes across as very strange to someone from another worldview?

“I’m sooo Bored!!!!!!”

That’s how my friends email began. And this was after she had watched two shows, checked Facebook, read the news and all her blog subscriptions, and all while at work.

I figured this common cry to be connected to a deeper sense of alienation. I’m familiar with that discomfort, but I have always held, that in part, this sort of open acknowledgement was a key indicator of ones lack of creativity.  

If you say you’re bored, you’re probably just a boring person. Right?  

Well, not so fast.

Maybe boredom acts in much the same way our immune system does when warning us of a malfunction, that we did not create, but may also facilitate. For instance…I just finished wiping off a sneeze that escaped onto my computer screen.  Which you can now deduce is not only too much information, but also an indicator that I am sick.

Who is to blame for this?

Isn’t boredom just the metaphorical mucus of our soul’s condition?  Where what we are capable of meets the constraints of a reality that reveals just how much we are under-challenged in our jobs and life?  

(Check out this Challenge vs Skills graph.)

So…what’s the difference between boredom and apathy?

Not only did this email prompt me toward this thought, but I also watched a movie the night before that I may not have ordinarily watched if I weren’t so sick…and maybe a little bored. The Trotsky, a Jacob Tierney comedy, touches on this distinction between boredom and apathy.

Check it out…

In the movie, Leon Bronstein, who feels he is the reincarnation of Leon Trotsky, seems to frame boredom in a unique perspective, rich with potential, and echoing the words of Walter Benjamin.

“We are bored when we don’t know what we are waiting for…. Boredom is the threshold to great deeds.”

And shouldn’t we be waiting for something more? Wanting something more?  And what happens when what we are waiting for…depends on us?

Maybe acting as if we’re perfectly well in the face of that reality signals something far worse than boredom…Apathy?

What do you think?
 

“There lives more faith in honest doubt, believe me, than in half the creeds.” – Alfred Lord Tennyson

I’m confused. Human beings seem to crave certainty…all the while fully reveling in mystery? What do you think we more fully appreciate? Certainty or mystery?

Despire our love for a good detective novel, or murder investigation, I believe we begin to become frayed at the edges, if we cannot have clear black and white areas in our life.

Doubt it seems, is our enemy.
 
I recently watched a movie called Doubt.

The movie, tackles the subject of doubt masterfully, and it never releases you from having to wrestle with an overwhelming amount of uncertainty.

“What do you do when you’re not sure…” begins the priest, played by Phillipp Seymour Hofmann, in one of the opening scenes of this movie.

He later concludes that in the face of despair, whether stricken with a private calamity of sickness, guilt…or doubt…to remember the virtues of suffering together.

“Your bond with your fellow human being…was your despair…Doubt can be a bond as powerful and sustaining as certainty…”

Watch the first part in this movie here:

All around us, we are plunged into mystery, that seems to raise a fist at any inclination we may have to blindly obey.

When people come promising only certainty. I grow wary.

• I will not blindly obey

When plunged into a genuine “crisis of faith”.

• I will not blindly cling to certainty.

Respect your uncertainty.

By so doing we fight back the persuasive sway of these momentous forces.  That call you to believe without question, and offer you guilt in response to your questions.

It’s sometimes hard…we sometimes, non thinkingly…succumb…but in the end…our conscience demands a more mature, and genuine response.

“Doubt is not a pleasant condition but certainty is absurd.”-Voltaire

So what do you think about doubt? Does it have any redeeming virtues? Yes? No? In-between? Do not care?

 
What exactly is religion?
 
For many people, this word may bring up a variety of feelings, and definitions. Wikipedia…more or less describes it as a belief system, that aims to answer questions about the ultimate questions in life, while also aiding in giving its adherents a sense of meaning in this life.

But what of those who spill out beyound these formal definitions, and define themselves, religious or not, in a variety of ways.

What of those who attend a church for the aspect of community, but actually appreciate what they may consider to be more peripheral, doctrinal differences? What if what unifies a group of people is more than an agreed upon set of doctrinal propositions?

And what of those who, based on unique experiences, feebly attempt to wrestle with a various definitions of God, the act of which, may often not be so readily entertained among ecclesiastical circles.
 

Religion For The Misfits

My quest to connect with others who are actively exploring these questions, has gradually led me to the realization that the internet can be just that place. That place of connection. That elastic space of exploration, that while allowing for a brutality spawned from anonymity, still in other ways, gives many the needed buffer to comfortably walk a mile in someone else’s shoes.

The internet does not only connect you to information, but to others who are trudging along, on a similar pursuit.

Jim Gilliam, describes his take on this very subject, in a very personal way. The title of this blog, The Internet Is My Religion, was taken from a recent talk he gave at a Personal Democracy Forum. Much of what he has to say, really connected with aspects of my experience.

The video below, shows him giving an inspiring talk about his life, his battles with cancer, and how he found grace in the networks and connections that the Internet makes possible.

You can find out more at www.theinternetismyreligion.com

So…what did you think of his talk? How do you define church? How do you choose to experience community around your most deeply held beliefs? Does technology enhance your spirituality, impair it, both?

Voices…blend like the hookah winds…and culture mixes with laughter and the cool night breeze…I am beneath the Tampa sky, seated with Arabic small talk….occasionally accented by the loud crackle of laughter.  The exclamation points of comradery.

Here is when I exhale into the realization that to be monolingual is a sort of prison.  An invisible barrier that keeps me inside the world of an english man.  An english man that was born in Jamaica.  And although my life’s journey has taken me through Trinidad, Canada, and various areas in the United States….I am still bounded by the language and culture of my birth.

But what of this barrier.  What does tonight…admist these smiles and world music streeming through the speakers.  what of this sage tea steaming among the faces of our humanity. Yes…it is the realization that these walls are yet porous.   They speak to the possibilities of a commonality.  And to the needs we all share.  Friendship.  Joy. Sorrow.

The inhalation and exalation of the hookah.

And for now…we speak the language of pleasantries…of card games…of sporadic interpretations.  Of universal values undeniable. Of the realization that even in the spaces of ones own language there are gaps of meaning.  Gaps that can only be filled by something that transcends.

So I will seek to puncture the holes into these walls…while recognizing the uniqueness of what multicultures bring.

Have you ever sat down to look at what return you can expect from your college educational investment?  Seperating the value of a life long education, from the institutional woes, has often troubled me.

Well if you’re currently an undergrad student, you may not have thought to deeply on the topic, but you most likely will. Personally, I never had high hopes that a bachelors degree in communications would yield some miracle job.  Even during college, I realized that I had to begin thinking creatively, and entrepreneurially in the face of rising tuition, and the looming clouds of an unpromising job market.

So now…after a few years experiencing the reality of the job market, contemplating the advantages of grad school, and still wet with the soap suds of a bursting housing bubble,  I see the importance of carefully considering the pros and cons of a higher education.

Here is an interesting article from The Economist that begins to explore whether or not the next bubble to burst is in the arena of higher education. But I’m curious as to your experiences and thoughts on the matter.

According to the article, the basic idea of a college degree bubble, is that people are spending too much on higher education, taking on too much debt, and failing to get the reward they expect.  Here’s an excerpt, with link to article…

Education is a bubble in a classic sense. To call something a bubble, it must be overpriced and there must be an intense belief in it. Housing was a classic bubble, as were tech stocks in the ’90s, because they were both very overvalued, but there was an incredibly widespread belief that almost could not be questioned — you had to own a house in 2005, and you had to be in an equity-market index fund in 1999.

Probably the only candidate left for a bubble — at least in the developed world (maybe emerging markets are a bubble) — is education. It’s basically extremely overpriced. People are not getting their money’s worth, objectively, when you do the math. And at the same time it is something that is incredibly intensively believed; there’s this sort of psycho-social component to people taking on these enormous debts when they go to…

They go on to crunch a few numbers, and challenge this assersion. They hint at tuition inflation, which I think is something most graduates have a gut level idea is happening, but I’m very interested in looking at some hard numbers on this topic.

I see that it is indeed an instituion that is key for advancement in society today, but as usual when confronting anything so deeply entrenched in our societal consciousness, its not everyday I come across a thorough investigation on the topic of higher education.

After reading the article, what are your thoughts?  What do you think needs to be concidered? Are there any other sources that you are aware of, where people can take a good objective look at this subject?  I’m interested.

Link to complete article

Other related articles on College Education:
Study looks at whether college is really worth the price

 
I just watched a movie, called Ghost Dog.  This 1999 release won’t be added to my short list of favorites…but it was full of thought-provoking concepts pulled from the Hagakure(The Book Of The Samurai).

For instance…here’s one:

“In the words of the ancients, one should make his decision within the space of seven breaths. It is a matter of being determined and having the spirit to break through to the other side.”

7 breaths huh? I won’t judge you if you whip out your stop watch to test this out.

But while you’re doing that…think about how many more things you could do if you didn’t park a decision in the land of over-analysis? And is being impulsive the same thing as being decisive?

For me, I have experienced both the plague of indecision and impulse.

But I think this is something entirely different. I can remember key points in my life, where earlier preparation, coupled with a commitment to act quickly, served me very well.
 

The Place Where Experience Meets Instinct

 
In order for one to make quick, yet good decisions, I think one has to draw from a place that takes longer than 7 seconds to create.

Linking our instinctual hunches to this deep reservoir requires that we know ourselves.  This takes reflection and whatever practice you agree with that allows you to break away from the noise in life, and begin to face who and what you are.

How else can we in a moments notice call upon our truest desires, wants, goals, and dreams, to direct us in the best possible ways?

So what does knowing yourself really mean?

 
This is a lifelong pursuit, and ripe with varying perspectives on its full meaning. For me, “knowing thyself” is not only about the looking inside, but it connects with an openness to the questions about reality itself.

This is the job of being a human.  We can’t ignore our fears; especially our fear of death.

I can’t help but recall the way Ghost Dog begins. The character played by Forest Whitaker is heard describing the substance of the samurai:

“The Way of the Samurai is found in death. Meditation on inevitable death should be performed daily…“

Definitely not the words you usually find on the first pages of your favorite self-help books.

Is our westernized view of reality missing a depth of self-knowledge, gained by better confronting the subject of death?

Maybe our over thinking, as Steven Pressfield describes in Do The Work, is ultimately tied not only to the avoidance of failure and death, but to how well we then value the urgency of now!

One last quote from the Ghost Dog movie:

“When one has made a decision to kill a person, even if it will be very difficult to succeed by advancing straight ahead, it will not do to think about doing it in a long, roundabout way. One’s heart may slacken, he may miss his chance, and by and large there will be no success. The Way of the Samurai is one of immediacy, and it is best to dash in headlong. ”

Aside from the killing bit…I think you get the point…What do you think?

What do you think about when you think of freedom?

 
I think of birds.  Birds in the sky.  Birds c-walking on your work windowsill.  Looking at you, with those beady eyes that quietly warn…remember Alfred Hitchcock, and The Birds.
 
So…as I stared at some in a small pond outside my window…I became increasingly curious as to what they must feel about us humans, and so, for obvious reasons, I resorted to having a conversation with one in my head.
 

These are the 8 things he/she told me.

• “I pack light, and try to keep life simple. I do not worry about what I’m going to eat.  The earth is full with worms, and other delicacies.  What appears to be a carefree attitude, is not an act.  Baring some random natural/unnatural event…Like me becoming food for some animal higher up the food chain…Things just work out.

• I don’t do the debt thing.  Unless you want to count what I owe you for that little bathroom in the sky incident.  It’s just that when we fly above water…well…it makes us relax. This allergic reaction to your financial philosophies, albeit tempting, has allowed me a certain degree of …levity.

• My housing situation was not troubled by your recent economic crisis.  I do not worry about where I sleep. I gets my sleep on. And to be honest, I’d form a small bird collective, or commune before I gave up my freedom to fly around all day.

• I cannot, and do not, deny my ability to create music. I sing in any weather. Like your Rumi said…
  

  “I want to sing like the birds sing, not worrying about who hears or what they think.”

  You may not know this, but this was a decision our bird forfathers made a long time ago. Our goal is to remind you of one of the central things that defines you as human beings. Your ability to call something from nothing. To create.

• I don’t spend my life doing work I hate.  I’m up with the sun. I get the worms for the little ones. But when you look out of your office window, doesn’t it look like I’m having a good time?

• Years ago, before the revolution. Us birds spent little time with our babies. Now we actually get to watch them grow up.  Word on your street is that most of you humans spend an average of 47 minutes a day with your kids.  I’m not hating…I’m just saying…that’s for the birds.  Well…you know what I mean.

• I do a lot of traveling.  I guess if you count the 2.8 hours of tv you watch per day on average, then you may have me beat on the amount of places you get to see.

• I know what you’re probably thinking.  And to your credit…I don’t create much or think rationally like you can…I don’t have a car, a fancy crib, my ideas are simple, and I probably crap as much as I sing.  But here’s the thing…I have a place to sleep. I eat well. I have “love” in my life. I have time to reflect(although you may not recognize it.) I don’t work for anyone. I’m free. Party in the sky, all day.

I thought you humans were supposed to have it better than us animals?

Maybe one day my bird brain will better understand what exactly separates you from us.

After hearing all of this…I thought to myself…I think the bird in my head may have a point.  What really does it mean to be a human being?