Crack Is One Helluva Drug, But What About Facebook?

I hope I’m not being insensitive to the grave circumstances surrounding substance abuse, nor am I overly fond of the picture I used above this post.  But the parallels between addictive behavior in general and those found associated with online media, particularly Facebook and Twitter, do share some similarities.

So if you were wondering where you stood on the question of your addiction to your favorite social media community, here are some clues I came up with that may shed a little light on where you might stand.  These scenarios may or may not suggest examples of my online habits in any way.

1. If you’ve found yourself on Facebook , Twitter, or some online site, but originally got on your computer to do something else, and now have forgotten what exactly that other thing was…The crack may be trying to get you…
2. If you’ve found yourself in a room full of family or friends, and their were at least two to three computers open, a BlackBerry or iPhone, and conversations are all taking place over the top of your laptops or phones…The crack is about to get you….
3. If you’ve been making a promise each week for the past year, that you will cut down on your Twitter or Facebook use, and you haven’t..well…the crack may just have about got you…
4. If you reach over in bed and lovingly caress your laptop in the night, because you dosed of, with it almost burning a hole in your chest…well..that’s just sad…(ok, I’ll admit to this one…guilty as charged)
5. If your index fingers are slightly calloused due to excessive mouse tracking on your laptops mouse pad, or if your wrist and fingers involuntarily begin making clicking motions in public, and you try to pretend like you’re just pointing at something…well..that’s just strange…
6. If you hesitate to open your Facebook chat, because you know you just may be flooded with people just wanting to say hi, and you have stuff to do, but for some strange reason you open your chat anyway….hey it’s called loneliness, we all have to face it…but the crack is getting to you…
7. If you have more than 10 tabs open on your computer, (Twitter, Facebook, Youtube, your email, a few sites you stumbled into, the thing you were actually intending to do when you came online) and you’re so disgusted with the info overload, that you start randomly shutting them all down, without checking to see if any of them were important…and then you realize you had an unfinished report or email that you have to retype…well…that was dumb,  but kudos..you are fighting the crack…this is a start.
8. If you’re version of a nightmare, is one where you aren’t able to find the favorite button for a YouTube video you like, so much that it wakes you up, and you go online in the real world?  Well…dang…what the hay?…
9. If people wonder why your hands are always perched between your legs, fumbling around with that all important text, status update, or one of the 100’s of thousands of apps available through your mobile device…well…be prepared for some misunderstandings.  I’m just saying…
10. If you get this warm cuddly feeling whenever you think of Facebook, and you’re actually ashamed and confused that you could be had in this way…well..join the club…that’s just the tension between truth and your current reality.  Make your way to the exit signs…
11. If the girls or guys online just seem so much easier to “Talk” to…haha…well…its time my friend…to make your way out into the sunshine.  Shave your face, or legs, and get back into physically close proximity to real human beings.  The crack has officially GOT you…I’m just saying.

All goofing around aside…Let’s figure out a way to get a handle on whatever website continues to pimp our time.  On December 31st, 2009, I casually stumbled on a 1 week challenge sparked by John Mayer.  In essence, he challenged his “twitter followers” to a brain dump, or more clearly put, an information diet, or a fast from the social media sites that can take up a lot of our time.

I jumped in, and since January 1st, 2010 until January 8th,  2010, I, with trembling fingers, stayed clear from all that was eeeeevil online.  Ok, I don’t need a medal for this effort.  It was only a week right?  Hmmm…well, the point was well taken Mr. Mayer.  I along with millions of Americans, and the world for that matter, are still trying to figure out how to manage the time spent on various social media sites.

According to an article in the New York Times, a Nielsen study shows the average time spent on Facebook for the 25-35 age group to be just between 3-4 hours a day.  Where do you think  you stand?  And for those really wanting to push the envelop, and don’t think any of this relates to them, consider giving John Mayer’s wee experiment a try.  The proof is in the pudding or the break from it..right? (BTW, as if powdered Facebook wasn’t enough, now you can drink Facebook, check it out).

The week away from Facebook, and twitter wasn’t that tough for me, but it did make me better recognize the casual tendency to repeatedly check email, Twitter, Facebook, and the other often visited sites, to the detriment of actual work I was trying to do online, or my computer.  And that’s the issue, especially for those who spend a lot of time on a computer for work, school, or their business, and even more important for those like myself, who value building relationships and networking to further business goals.  The key is knowing where to manage the line between genuine networking, and relationship building, and wasting time.

Do your online habits, or mobile phone usage, interrupt your ability to get the things you really value done?

If any of this applies in anyway, and you are serious about reclaiming your time, and increasing your productivity in 2010, check out “RescueTime”. The video below gives a short demo into how it works(I am not affiliated with this service, nor do I get paid in any way to promote about it. In fact I haven’t even used it, but it sure looks like a good idea). It’s basically a software that “automagically” tracks which web sites & applications are actively used at your computer and provides charts of this data.  So far, without any cool time tracking software, I just have a gut feeling, that my productivity can always do with a little tweaking!

RescueTime Time Tracking Overview from Tony Wright on Vimeo.

Also check out:

Facebook Addiction Growing Issue

Psychologist Discusses Facebook Addiction

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New Years Resolutions or Pie In The Sky Fantasies?

So I happened across a video on Donald Millers blog that was pretty interesting.  Considering this is the time of year, where we make our list of promises, pledges, and commitments.  “This time will be different”, we say.  We line up at gym’s and hurriedly sign away the contracts, hoping that the forced commitment will force us to do what we know we need, and desperately desire to be done.
Donald Miller and Dr. Henry Cloud discuss why new years resolutions can be pie in the sky talk, and that there truly can only be one resolution that deals with this intrinsic issue.  The issue of maturity.  And that takes time.  However deeply we wish to lose the weight, or quit that bad habit cold turkey.  Change takes time.  We can wish for microwave speed results, but are we willing to commit, or better put, submit to the process?

Check it out.  I think they make some good points.  For the original blog post, visit Don’s blog.

New Years Resolutions – All Things Converge Podcast preview from All Things Converge Podcast on Vimeo.

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Sharpening My Focus – Part 1

With the new year around the corner, and the continued reality of an economic pinch. It seems as good a time as any to take stock of my new found interest the minimalist lifestyle, or more commonly stated, the simple life. For the past year or two I’ve tried, from time to time, to post my ongoing attempts at gaining more focus around the things that matter most in life.

How important is clarity in a world vying for your attention? It seems that all that surrounds the modern life conspires for it fragmentation.  Increasing obligations, and mass marketing all threaten any attempts at a prolonged coherent thought, not to mention consistent action.

I awake in the morning with the goal of accomplishing certain things. And in all honesty, how successful my day is, already depends on how clearly defined these goals are.  If not, I don’t stand a fighting chance with so much vying for my attention.  If I am not zealously clear as to the days objectives, forget about it, its not going to get done.  Maybe you can relate?

And so goes the endless cycle of daily routine and failure. But what I sometimes wouldn’t consider is although I was good at writing down my goals, and reviewing them often, there also seemed to be things that would always frustrate the process.  Things that make you forget what you are trying to accomplish, and so easily seem to throw you of course.

As a result of this history, I started asking myself, what I could do to give the goals in my life a fighting chance.  And it just made sense, that if there were competing forces vying for attention, that those forces, needed to be deleted, or managed.  That’s when I began to realize that the information on productivity was endless.  At first the concept of simplifying your life wasn’t sexy, and in some ways, I guess it may never seem that way to a lot of folks.  Don’t expect any 30 seconds advertisements praising the virtues of only buying what you need. But as of late, the subject has been gaining a very practical sort of relevance in my life, and in the life of millions of people who are just plain tired and stressed out by overly complicated lives.

The further I’ve read on the topic, the more I began to see that by riding myself of distractions, and the barrage of incoming information and messages, the clearer I can think, and the more focused I can become on a single objective.

David Allen refers to these messages as open loops.  He defines what it means in his Getting Things Done book:

An Open Loop is anything pulling at your attention that doesn’t belong where it is, the way it is.

The Getting Things Done method is an intricate system of built around the premise that one needs to get as much stuff from outside of your head, so that you can focus on actually getting things done. I’ll admit, after reading the book, that it was very helpful, but at times, seemed overwhelming.  So here, I’ve just focused on some basic things that have begun this process for me.  I may tackle a more thorough review of the GTD book at a later time.

Here’s an unrelated video that I stumbled on that I think gives an example of what your life can turn into if you’re not aware of how easily it is to become overwhelmed with everything vying for your attention.

The “Stuff” that’s to blame

David Allen describes stuff as:

Anything you have allowed into your psychological or physical world that doesn’t belong where it is, but for which you haven’t yet determined the desired outcome and the next action step. [pg. 17]

Here are some of the “stuff” that I’ve identified as contributing to a more complicated existence for me. In a later post, I’ll share what I’ve actually done to manage or rid myself of some of these things.

Mess

This is a term generally referring to all the things around you or in your life, that don’t need to be there. They can be huge things, or all those little details.  A physically cluttered environment, or all those to do list, that keep rolling over into the next to-do list.  The more cluttered my environment, the more my brain seems to have to work.

Toxic Relationships

These are the people, that for whatever reason, are apart of your life, but for some reason, seem to repeatedly affect you in a negative way.  Where they are in their life, and where you are, may just not be congruent.

Television

Some call it the one eyed devil, and I’m not here to cast stones or preach, but here are some interesting statistics from the A.C. Nielsen Co. that really shook me up! These statistics really made me evaluate how I was spending my time.

According to the A.C. Nielsen Co., the average American watches more than 4 hours of TV each day (or 28 hours/week, or 2 months of nonstop TV-watching per year). In a 65-year life, that person will have spent 9 years glued to the tube.

Number of 30-second TV commercials seen in a year by an average child: 20,000. source

I did the math, and that comes out to about 55 TV messages per day alone. Messages all calling for some sort of action, or lobbying for storage place in an already desperately clustered brain.

Email

If you’re anything like me, you have a ton of messages all being delivered via various in boxes. Jumping on my laptop to check my email used to be a morning ritual.  And to be honest, I sometimes still struggle with this.  Why is this a such a big deal?  Well for me, it appears that how I begin my day, really effects how focused and successful the rest of it was.  And beginning your day bombarded by hundreds of unread email can be destabilizing.

Internet

In 2006 researchers from Ball State’s Center for Media Design (CMD) uncovered this:

The average person spends about nine hours a day using some type of media. source

The internet  is a beast when it comes to sucking ones time, or throwing me of course.  There’s an obvious benefit to networking, staying in touch with family and friends, and all the various constructive activities that keep us online(I’m not sure if this included Mafia Wars people.  .  However, for me, I’ve realized that the things I’ve usually set out to do, often get thrown of track by an urgent desire to post some ridiculously important facebook or twitter status update, or some imaginary email I’m expecting.

Phone

Now you don’t want to be stuck on the highway at 2am with car trouble, and without your cell phone(I’ll tell you that story another time).  But there are times where that little metallic object in your purse or pocket, can be the channel where people can reach into your life, and easily throw you of course.  A way to manage that access is vital.

Bills

Bills, Bills, Bills. I know, you don’t like me cussing up a storm like that.  Financial disorganization, or unneeded expenses can really put a lot of unneeded stress on the mind.  For me, the largest of which is my home mortgage.  I’ll explain why I call this an unnecessary expense next time, and what I’ve done, or am doing to manage these various open loop traps in my life.

Part 2 to come…

What messes with your focus, and what ways have helped you get back on track?  Trust me, I’m all ears.

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My 10 Favorite TED Talks

According to Wikipedia, TED (Technology, Entertainment, Design) is:

An academic organization owned by The Sapling Foundation, a private nonprofit foundation.^[1] TED is well-known for its annual, invitation-only conference devoted to “ideas worth spreading.”^[2] TED is famous for its lectures, known as TED Talks, which originally focused on technology, entertainment and design, but have now expanded in scope to a broad set of topics including science, arts, politics, education, culture, business, global issues, technology and development. Speakers have included such people as former U.S. President Bill Clinton, U.K. Prime Minister Gordon Brown, molecular biologist James D. Watson, physicist Murray Gell-Mann, former Vice President of the United States Al Gore, political scientist Bruce Bueno de Mesquita, Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates, Google co-founders Sergey Brin and Larry Page, Zoologist Jane Goodall, and Evangelist Billy Graham.^[3]

I have never come across a more extensive library of innovative, thought provoking, or moving presentations. All of which are available to you with the click of a button, by visiting TED.com.  I’ve seen only a portion of the hundreds of videos the website hosts.  Trying to pick which ones were my favorite, proved tough, but there are some in particular that have stuck with me over the years, and I’ve shared them with you here.  In the comment section below, feel free to share your favorite TED presentations!

Tim Ferriss: Smash fear, learn anything

“Productivity guru Tim Ferriss’ fun, encouraging anecdotes show how one simple question — “What’s the worst that could happen?” — is all you need to learn to do anything.”

Rick Warren on a life of purpose

Pastor Rick Warren, author of The Purpose-Driven Life, reflects on his own crisis of purpose in the wake of his book’s wild success.

Chris Abani muses on humanity

“Chris Abani tells stories of people: People standing up to soldiers. People being compassionate. People being human and reclaiming their humanity.”

Chimamanda Adichie: The danger of a single story

“Our lives, our cultures, are composed of many overlapping stories. Novelist Chimamanda Adichie tells the story of how she found her authentic cultural voice — and warns that if we hear only a single story about another person or country, we risk a critical misunderstanding.”

Publisher Felix Dennis’ odes to vice and consequences

“Media big shot Felix Dennis roars his fiery, funny, sometimes racy original poetry, revisiting haunting memories and hard-won battle scars from a madcap — yet not too repentant — life.”

John Wooden on true success

“With profound simplicity, Coach John Wooden redefines success and urges us all to pursue the best in ourselves. In this inspiring talk he shares the advice he gave his players at UCLA, quotes poetry and remembers his father’s wisdom.”

Dave Eggers’ wish: Once Upon a School

“Accepting his 2008 TED Prize, author Dave Eggers asks the TED community to personally, creatively engage with local public schools. With spellbinding eagerness, he talks about how his 826 Valencia tutoring center inspired others around the world to open.”

Barry Schwartz on our loss of wisdom

“Barry Schwartz makes a passionate call for “practical wisdom” as an antidote to a society gone mad with bureaucracy. He argues powerfully that rules often fail us, incentives often backfire, and practical, everyday wisdom will help rebuild our world.”

Jonathan Harris: the Web’s secret stories

“At the EG conference in December 2007, artist Jonathan Harris discusses his latest projects, which involve collecting stories: his own, strangers’, and stories collected from the Internet, including his amazing “We Feel Fine.”

A.J. Jacobs’ year of living biblically

“Speaking at the most recent EG conference, author, philosopher, prankster and journalist A.J. Jacobs talks about the year he spent living biblically — following the rules in the Bible as literally as possible.”

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Your Life As A Movie

Would you actually make it through the debut of a movie based on your life?

Let’s be honest, how inspiring or interesting would it be? Would you or the rest of us, fall asleep during the story called your life?  Do you find yourself getting into a boring cycle, of seemingly meaningless activities, like waking up on Monday morning, with Friday on their mind?  These are some of the unsettling thoughts and questions I was inspired to confront, while reading Donald Miller’s new book, A Thousand Miles, in a Million Years.

It begins with him being approached by two screenwriters, who pitch him on the idea of making a movie based on his New York Times bestseller, Blue Like Jazz. Donald is hesitant at first, because he can’t really imagine watching his collection of memoir styled essays on the big screen.  And this hesitation is somewhat confirmed while trying to collaboratively come up with a watchable story.  What he discovers is that his real life is, well, kind of boring, and that the editing process of creating a watchable movie, can be used in actually creating a better, and more meaningful story in his real life.

Here’s part of the blurb from the back cover:

A Million Miles in a Thousand Years chronicles Miller’s rare opportunity to edit his life into a great story, to reinvent himself so nobody shrugs their shoulders when the credits roll.  Through heart-wrenching honesty and hilarious self-inspection, Donald Miller takes readers through the life that emerges when it turns from boring reality into a meaningful narrative.

Miller goes from sleeping all day to riding his bike across America, from living in romantic daydreams to fearful encounters with true love, from wasting his money to founding a nonprofit with a passionate cause. (more…)

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Do Your Best and Forget The Rest

So I started to feeling myself a bit, after crossing the 45 day mark of the P90X Challenge. Going from a largely sedentary individual to 6 days a week of hellish workouts was a big deal for me.

A little History on the P90X Challenge(Or as I like to affectionately describe as a pact with el diablo)

According to their website:

P90X is a revolutionary system of 12 sweat-inducing, muscle-pumping workouts, designed to transform your body from regular to ripped in just 90 days. You’ll also receive a comprehensive 3-phase nutrition plan, specially designed supplement options, a detailed fitness guide, a calendar to track your progress, online peer support, and much more. Your personal trainer, Tony Horton, will keep you engaged every step of the way, and you won’t believe your results!

Now beyond all the hype and sales pitch, this program has proved to be nothing shy of a straight ass kicker. (more…)

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The Cure For Common Insanity

I’ve heard that Einstein is responsible for saying, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results. I’m not sure if my 5 consecutive trips to the fridge, expecting a miraculously cooked meal qualifies me for a straitjacket, but I’ve definitely met Einstein’s definition.  And to my defense, I’ve been heavily influenced.  I live in a society that reinforces many illusions that I gladly participate in.  If you try to wake me up with a dose of the truth, who knows, I may be liable to hurt you.  It’s inconvenient, and you’re messing with a very comfortable guy.

Ok, I’m probably more the opposite. I had to at least describe the times in my life where the threat of change has produced some resistance.  Most of the time, I’m proactive in diagnosing the areas in my life that don’t reflect my core values.  It hasn’t always been easy.  I believe that most of us, at some point in our lives can relate to the discrepancy between our most treasured values we claim to hold, and the way we are actually currently living our lives.  This has shown up particularly in 3 areas of my life.  Maybe you can relate, and also share your thoughts, and whats worked for you. (more…)

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Stuck in No Man’s Land

No man’s land can be a dangerous place, and exhilarating at the same time.
Especially when this stretch of unclaimed territory separates two waring nations, ideologies and people.  People found traveling from one nation to another, in passing through this neutral zone, can be tempted to set up shop there, and forgo the commitment of moving to their new destination.

I can’t remember a time where I was aware of being in a literal unclaimed territory. Metaphorically speaking, however, I feel like I am in one now.  An exodus of sorts is underway.  The land where assumptions, and deeply rooted, unchallenged religious practices held sway, has become the barren middle earth, as I travel in search of something better.  Each milestone marks questions raised, and answers given.  They have also lunged me further along the path to owning and understanding more clearly what it is I believe.

With greater light often comes greater responsibility, and so at times, the temptation is to turn my attention to the issues at hand.   It’s a state that I’m realizing can be a tempting place to reside, but not a very productive place to remain.

I’ve found myself at times pretty tired of traditional religion, and in my efforts to pursue something more meaningful, I’ve found myself, away from church for periods of time.  Sometimes its easy to get stuck in the rut of seeing only the negative aspects of traditionally practiced Christianity, and not really progressing forward to whatever better ideal one has identified.  And sometime those ideals, remain ideals, and dont find the light of actual practice.  That’s a frustrating place to be.

Be That Change You Desire To See, In A Practical Way

Now I do agree that recognizing the truth about where one is in life is an important aspect to moving forward. I believe its the first step in discovering the truth for yourself, and for many people, just this step is a difficult one.  But remaining in that place of negativity, although seemingly warranted, doesn’t realize or produce a solution.

This takes courage to actually move from the place where you were, journey through that territory of only seeing what was negative in your past, and crossing into a land where you are actively “being the change” you believe is right for this world.

And that’s the truth as I’m currently seeing it…

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Who Will Cry At Your Funeral?

I could care less what you think of me, or so I’ve tried to rationalize in times past. I mean, deep down, and maybe on a subconscious level, there seems to be something in many of us, that allows the opinions of our friends and family to affect our dreams, goals, and activities. Last year, I read a book called Slight Edge, by Jeff Olson. In it he writes about an experience that changed his life forever. One day he read a magazine article (he doesn’t give the source) wherein he learned that at the average funeral, about ten people cry. He then says, “That’s it? You mean I go through my entire life, spend years going through all these trials and tribulations and achievements and joys and heartbreaks–and at the end of it, there are only ten people who care enough to cry?”

Jeff then goes on to describe that the article claimed that out of those those attending the funeral, the number one determining factor of whether people would go to the burial site, was…the weather…This reality provided a paradigm shift for Jeff. “You mean, I’m lying there, at the grand conclusion of everything I’ve ever said and done, of everything I call my life, in those final moments when my entire life is called to account and acknowledged and memorialized by those nearest and dearest to me, (more…)

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Get rid of your dead skin

What’s 3 feet tall, and dreams of wrapping his muscles around your throat? No, I’m not talking about Dr. Evils clone mini-me. I’m talking about the popular house hold pet, the ball python. Yeah, I had one of these guys a few years back(and ladies, I do not have him anymore). I’m not exactly sure of what possessed me to take this from a friend of mine who was moving and couldn’t keep pets any longer. Call it a deep seated need to feel dangerous and on the edge . It just seemed like something different to try at the time. I definitely wasn’t a huge snake aficionado. His name was Machiavelli(yes I was a 2pac fan at the time) and we became fast friends…well kind off…Anyways, I digress.

Machiavelli was unpredictable. Once he escaped out of his cage, and my roommates and I couldn’t find him for 2 months(that’s another story). There is one thing that he did do consistently(besides crap & eat rats), and it always struck me as completely disgusting, but somewhat interesting. About once a month, Machiavelli would shed his skin. Yes, completely crawl out of his existing skin(check out a video of a snake doing this here). Now this process takes some time, and it takes a lot of energy out of the snake. After awhile I could begin to tell when he was getting ready to shed. He would be a little more lethargic, and his skin would gradually begin to get cloudy. Once the process was complete, Machiavelli’s skin would be shinny, and he’d be ready to gobble up some food.

(more…)

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