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It seems relatively safe, but it can be destabilizing.  And for many prisoners of war or cult initiates it is a particularly useful technique.  The controllers withhold the ability for their victims to know what will become of them, or just important information in general.  Just the fear of the unknown is enough to drive come crazy.

I think the rest of us humans, seen to be wired with the same need to know, and for good reason.  Knowing whats around the corner on a dark city street may just keep you alive.  But unfortunately some journey’s in life seem to deliver there fair share of Guantanamo sized uncertainty.

I think the spiritual journey can be like this.

Elizabeth S. Andrew describes this well in her book: Writing the Sacred Journey

“When I lived at a retreat center secluded in the woods, the guest who came from the cities would occasionally take walks at night.  They would shut the front door,  walk the length of the well-lit porch and face the unfamiliar, looking darkness of Norwegian pines, ironwood, and oak.  Many later reported that they could not go further.  They couldn’t see well enough or felt afraid of what lurked in the woods.  Some, however, too a few bold steps down to the driveway.  Just before the darkness swallowed them, a shock of light flooded the drive, set off by a motion detector.  The adventures could safely proceed another forty feet before darkness again conquered their vision.  Then another light flashed on.  Three times between the house and the road, lights sensed their movement and steered them forward.  Once they were on the road even a cloudy sky provided enough light to proceed.

Over breakfast the next morning, these guest shared their surprise. ” You have to take a few steps into the dark, just trusting, one said, “before another light shows the way.”

Elizabeth goes on to explain, that the Quakers call this “proceeding as the the way opens.” She states, that it’s good council for writers and spiritual seekers.

Some respond to this sort of stuff with a commitment to hyper certainty, rigidly denying any possibility of gray, in exchange for a black and white world.  They remain on the porch wary of anything outside their comfort zone.  Fearful of any unknowns.  Absolute knowledge is power and some are zealously drunk with knowing.  I guess we all have a bit of this in us.

But for others, myself included, I try to acknowledge the gray areas in my life.  Anytime I get the crazy idea that I know a thing or two, I, like Socrates, remember, that if its one thing I do know for sure, is that I do not know anything much at all.  There doesn’t appear to be a bullet point guide book for all the deep questions simmering beneath our superficial veneer of certainty.  Writing the story of our lives will be a bit more messy than that I presume.

For many trying to figure out what’s going on upstairs, or around them, writing can play a major role in helping us flesh out what’s what.

And even where settled truth may live, it must be experienced by the individual.  If you haven’t really experienced what you claim to believe, then consider that you may just be echoing someone else’s experience.

I alone can walk the path, and feel the darkness seize my chest and move in faith until the lights come on for me.

Writing and blogging have definitely helped me reconcile what I think I know for sure with these areas of uncertainty. I am always challenged, stretched, and taken deeper into new questions, just by my willingness to explore.  And I’m surprised by the new continued levels of awakening that occurs.  The decision to explore truth does however, need ways for you to move from the safety of the porch and into the dark areas of unknowing in your life and mind.

Writing has served that function well for me, and it may be useful tool for you as well.

“Those who write spiritual memoir write to find out what we believe or, more fundamentally, what we know to be sacred and true.” – Writing The Sacred Journey

If you are interested in ways to help you articulate your spiritual journey, or better articulate what you believe on anything from life’s meaning, your  religious beliefs, or thoughts on various important issues to you, consider starting a blog, journal writing, and check out these books on writing as well:

Writing The Sacred Journey: The Art and Practice of Spiritual Memoir (Elizabeth J. Andrew)

Creative Journal Writing: The Art and Heart of Reflection (Stephanie Dowrick)

Bird By Bird: Some Instructions On Writing and Life (Anne Lamott)

What ways help you get your fingers around what you believe, and assist you as you move from uncertainty to a better understanding of the things that matter to you in life?

Featured picture: Stewart Leiwakabessy