I’m not very photogenic. It’s not that I’m dissatisfied with how I look. It just seems that when the camera goes flash, someone else decides to impersonate me. I look at the pic, and think to myself…I don’t know that guy. The same thing sometimes happens with videos or audio recordings.
So the idea of a cosmic big brother, can be a bit unnerving. The all seeing eye, who gets to see any and everything. But then I know some take comfort in choosing to identify with a big brother that has a heart. One that understands context.
Now…being that I was the “big brother” in my family, this can be difficult. But not more difficult than imagining a complete stranger defining who I am by a snapshot of my life. Like my real life. I mean who wants to be defined by their worst moments?
Like the time I was was leaned up against the toilet with a cool rag on my head and a nice case of tequila breath.
Or that time in the mall, as a kid, when I was caught for…well..I won’t mention that “lil” incident, because they told me it was expunged from my records.
My point is…I’d wrather you captured my good side.
I want you to see me when I told that homeless guy I’d buy him a Chipotle burrito. (He actually asked for the rest of mine, but I was deeply attached to it.)
One might argue that everyone goes through phases in life, so we can’t judge the present you, by your past. Fair enough. But what about the spectrum of ourselves that exist in a single day? Moment? What about the public vs the private you? What about what we do vs what we think?
Trust me…there are some moments where I’d rather even I could forget what it was I just thought…or didn’t think.
Aren’t we just a complex web of good and evil? Our better selves, and our worst?
I think…true love…friendship…or community…is probably being able to let someone see the more nuanced you…the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Who exactly are you? What do you think of when you hear that question?